16 January, 2020

¿Llave, llave, quien tiene la llave?

I’ve developed a little head cold and stayed in all day. Silly me, I thought perhaps I’d get Uber eats to bring me something tasty so I could continue my routine of sloth (wellness rest). A little pizza pie from Via Condotti – and, for the first time I splurged and got a brownie. I’m lactose intolerant but already sick, I decided I’d just deal with any issues.

My apartment is an interior apartment. There’s a common door at the street, a big flight of stairs to the first floor (in México the ground floor is not the first floor, it’s the planta baja), then another big flight of stairs to my floor. All the apartments look into a very small central area that contains one of the first floor residents laundry equipment. So, when I order delivery I have to keep a careful eye out for arrivals.

Uber app says 3 minutes out, so I run downstairs. Pat my pocket first to make sure my keys are there – yep. Arrive at the street and shut the door so neer-do-well’s can’t slip past me (I’ve left my apartment door ajar). Uber Eats shows you where the delivery person is – so I can see he’s a little lost. I’m on a VERY well known street, just at the opposite end of where it’s known 🙂 Anyway – he finally arrives and I get my pizza and brownie, thank him, and get my key ready to open my door. Get my key ready to open my door. Hello? Key? Why aren’t you opening my door?

I’ve had a couple of neighbors move recently. It dawns on me that my favorite neighbor may have changed the locks without telling me. I scream her name a couple of times from the street. No answer. Bang on the door. Nope – my other (now only two) neighbors are ignoring me; likely they think I’m just a neer-do-well trying to sneak a pizza in so I can sully the courtyard. A few minutes go by and now I’m mad. I examine the door and notice that the latch has been previously jimmied, so I set the pizza and brownie down and give the door a HARD yank. Voila! I have regained entry to my castle!

After getting the food secured in the fridge I made a visit to the remaining neighbor on my floor. From what I understand, my favorite neighbor has indeed changed the lock – and given everyone except me a key. Believe me when I express my gratitude that they understand as little English as I do Spanish – as I wouldn’t want them to think I talk like that all the time. And it’s not like I haven’t been home all day today – she could have easily brought one to me.

So now I pop down to her door and give it several fairly loud knocks. Nope, not answering the door – she rarely goes out at night so I’m pretty sure she’s in there. The other neighbor comes out to see what’s up and I explain the situation. Indeed, he says she changed the lock yesterday late afternoon. Nice. I have pizza and a brownie waiting for me, so I decide to wait until tomorrow to beat down her door.

Thirty minutes later the guy from the first floor comes up and gives me a key. Introduces himself and we exchange phone numbers in case we have problems in the future. And all without scowling at me like my key hoarding neighbor does. Another 30 minutes later and I’ve eaten some pizza AND the brownie. I’m still mad, but have decided that I’ll just scowl at her from now on.

¡Bienvenidos a México!

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